I know very few people that are happy. It took me about 14 years to figure out how to be happy, and it’s still a struggle and a choice that I make every day. I thought people and things were suppose to make me happy, but it was me, I was responsible for it.
I think I was unhappy because no one taught me how to be happy. No one teaches us how to be – how to care for ourselves, how to do more of the things that we love. For a long time I was coasting through life and I cared A WHOLE LOT what other people thought of me. I wanted to make everyone happy. I wanted everyone to like me. I wanted to make sure that I was always doing the right thing and doing what was required of me. And I was miserable. I see people around me going through the same thing and I just want to tell them, yell at them actually, What is it? Fix it!
I’m not saying that I have the recipe to success and I’m not saying that you should only do what makes you happy (that’s how people get involved in things that hurt others and it is extremely selfish to do what only makes you happy), but I am saying that if you don’t make your well being a part of your priorities, you will not be happy. I just don’t think it’s possible to be in a good place if you keep putting yourself last. And when you are not happy, you lash out on others, and hurt others, because YOU are hurting.
This happy person that I am right now was not me. I was really unhappy and didn’t know what to do about it. So this isn’t me coming from a place of preaching. I would love to help ANYONE that felt as horrible as I did. These are some things that helped me.
Therapy and a Life Coach
I went to therapy for a long time and once I stopped, I started seeing a Life Coach. I am not embarrassed to say this and you can judge me if you want, but I don’t know ONE person who wouldn’t benefit from doing therapy and sitting down with a Life Coach. If you have issues that you are dealing with and they keep coming up over and over again, in different relationships, in different ways, in different parts of your life, then this is something that needs to be addressed in your life. Why not talk to professionals instead of bitching to your friends and family?
You have to do something besides go to work and come home. That is not living, that is existing. Find something that makes you feel alive and do it often. Here are some ideas.
Even walking outside for fifteen minutes is exercise. But you have to get your body moving. This is not me judging anyone or saying you have to lose weight, it’s not about weight, this is chemistry. If you find a way to move every day chemically, your body makes the stuff that makes you feel good. This is a MUCH better explanation.
Protect Your Energy
There are a lot of things in our world today that can bring us down. Sometimes it’s the news, or family members, friends, coworkers, social media, whatever. Make sure to stay away from the crap that makes you feel bad. Years ago I had a neighbor that was always negative and talking about other people and I made sure to limit my time around them. I always felt bad when I spent time with them, so then I finally said, why am I spending time with them? And I stopped.
If you’re not grateful for what you have, then you will never be grateful. Life doesn’t get better by wishing things get better. They get better when you realize that you have everything you need. I PROMISE YOU THIS – if you wake up and think of five things that you are grateful for as soon as you get up – not reach for your phone, but start with gratitude, you will be happier. Do it everyday for a week. Try it!
If you need some more motivation to start living a happier life, here are some that help me when I’m having a bad day.
Hoping everyone has some more good days!